Motivated Writing

There are days when you don't feel like writing. And then there are days when you flat out can't write. You know what I mean. You pull up the document or pull the blank page toward you, running your fingers over the keys or fiddling with the pen, staring into the white nothingness. And nothing comes. Nothing. It may take you five minutes, or over an hour, but eventually you admit to yourself that nothing is going to happen and surrender the fight. 

This is not good, nor should anyone make a habit of it. But, last week, I had that kind of day. Nothing seemed to go my way, and by the time I sat down to write a post, I was frustrated, bitter, and a mash-up of Grumpy the Dwarf and Oscar the Grouch. Pulling up my blog, I tried to decide on a topic. The empty post glared at me, bright whiteness hurting my eye-balls. My brain imagined the screaming taunts and jeers of the untapped keys beneath my fingers. They were all telling me the same thing: "You're stuck, and there's nothing you can do about it."

So I shut my computer, grabbed some chocolate, and graced my family with my gretzy presence. That was that. I had surrendered, and didn't want to confront the shame I felt. 

The next day, I sat down to journal, but this time had no problem putting words on the page. The difference? My new leather journal had arrived while I was at work. The beauty of the thick pages and the gorgeous reddish-brown leather made me wish to write beautiful things, and gave me the courage to put my thoughts down permanently. Later that week, when I set time aside to edit Dragonhoard, I decided to give myself an achievable goal; once that goal was reached editing-wise, I would allow myself a small reward: writing in that elegant journal.

This may sound rather childish, and even a bit stupid. I'm not saying it's right for everyone; I just know that when I hit a road-block, I need something more. I love words. The way they flow, sound, feel, and look, I love it all. But sometimes I get scared of not being able to write well. I get paralyzed. So now, instead of surrendering, I stimulate my productivity with a little shot of something special.